TwaddleMart™

Welcome to TwaddleMart™, your one-stop-shop for one-of-a-kind, hard-to-find, oh-so-refined garbage that requires a string of hyphenated hyperbolic adjectives just to make it palatable. Some claim we sell funny t-shirts and other items imprinted with off-the-wall (more hyphens!) sayings and designs. Most of those included in this nameless “some” are no doubt chemically, cosmically, or otherwise mentally imbalanced. We at TwaddleMart grant that it’s hypothetically possible that we may occasionally offer a worthwhile product. If, by some fluke, that is the case, please accept our sincerest apologies. As our name implies, we strive to stock nothing but pure, 100% Twaddle on our virtual shelves. Should a t-shirt, mug, or other item displaying some trace of usefulness or entertainment value slip through our stringent twaddle-control system, please feel free to buy it, of course, but with the knowledge that TwaddleMart claims no responsibility should said item cause others to laugh, guffaw, chuckle, give you the thumbs up, offer compliments, and generally make you more popular than you ever have been, hitherto in your life. Why you would shop at this store, offering what some purport to be funny t-shirts and other items, is beyond us. But there it is for those who have exhausted every other method of wasting their time.